Self Confidence – Friends

I will start by saying that the people in this blog about self confidence are real people but I have changed names to protect identities.

Michael and Miriam are good friends. Miriam and my wife Tonya originally got to know each other through a mother and toddler group. Eventually, as couples we started to host dinner parties for each other and Michael and I established a great friendship.

Both have extremely good jobs. Miriam works as an architect. Being as she works from home she is able to combine her career with looking after the children. Michael is a builder. An extremely good one at that. He knows building regulations like the back of his hand but also he knows how to make money. The guy oozes self confidence. I’m not sure that he has ever read any books or articles on self confidence techniques but he naturally seems to apply these techniques and never seems to have a problem with self esteem.

They live in a converted barn which obviously Michael oversaw the conversion works. They drive luxury 4 x 4 cars and have all the good things in life. The position they are in was created during the years of boom in the property market. Always in the right position at the right time, Michael and Miriam seem to have that Midas touch; everything they touch turns to gold.

Michael helped us when we had an extension built onto our house and also through him I was able to develop contacts for work. They are extremely positive people to be around and their success seems to rub off on us.

We also have some friends Simon and Mandy. Simon is a family friend of mine, so I have known him for many years. Simon and Mandy had their first child before marrying and Mandy’s parents particularly weren’t over struck on the union, well not at first. They have been together now for well over twenty years, living in council and housing association accommodation in all that time. Over those years they had three children, all at various points giving them stress and heartache. Mandy particularly has suffered badly with ill health, in the past suffering from a stroke and at present overcoming throat cancer. She is still only 43.

Simon works for the council as a refuse collector, Mandy as a care worker doing in excess of 60 hours per week just to make ends meet. Their life together has not been at all easy, yet they never complain, even throughout the seemingly endless health scares.

When reading many of the self help, self confidence and how to be successful type books, they will state that we should surround ourselves with successful people. People with money that give off vibrations of success and self confidence. Constantly being enveloped by such people will mean that inevitably such positive attitudes will rub off on us. We can network to develop business contacts and we can pick their brains to find out the secrets of success.

We shouldn’t surround ourselves with unsuccessful, negative people. This is likely to de-motivate us. By not having successful people to look up to, we do not have role models to follow.

This is what the books say.

So, going by what the books say, which of the couples should I surround myself with, Michael and Miriam or Simon and Mandy?

According to what the books say, which couple should I avoid, Michael and Miriam or Simon and Mandy?

This is what I say. I will NOT drop either. Yes, for all the reasons the books say, Michael and Miriam are good to be around. But that is not the reason my wife and I remain friends with them. Michael and Miriam are decent folk with decent principles and damn good company.

And equally, if not more so, Simon and Mandy. This couple are honest and hardworking. We may not go to the swankiest restaurants with them but wherever we are, they are always a joy to be with. I certainly hope that any positive vibrations I am able to generate will rub off on them too.

I will not be giving up on any of my friends despite what the books say.

Terry Norrington

www.getselfconfident.com

~ by tnorrington on August 24, 2008.